Friday, November 2, 2012

The 2012 Blue Jays, part I

On to actually writing about this year's edition of the Blue birds.

Ok, the 2012 Blue Jays were not what you'd call fantastic, but they were definitely interesting.
Notable shit that went down:*

Paging Dr. Andrews!  The pitching staff goes down like their bodies consist of rotting zombie flesh (I've been watching a lot of The Walking Dead lately).

Brett goes Berzerk! Brett Lawrie loses it and tosses his helmet in the vicinity of umpire Bill Miller.  Helmet hits Miller.  Lawrie sits in the metaphorical penalty box and feels shame.

EE!  Encarnacion hits the ball.  Ball leaves park.  42 times.  That's what I call a breakout.

NoScobar! Yunel Escobar (or YEscobar to some) writes offensive Spanish word on eyeblack.  Team gets angry.  Yunel sits in the metaphorical penalty box and feels shame.

Johnny, We Hardly Knew Ye! Red Sox tempt Farrell.  Blue Jays let him follow his dream.  Get utility infielder in return.

Heeeere Pitcher Pitcher Pitcher Pitcher!  AA trades everyone for bullpen help.  Ok, not everyone.  Just all the outfielders not named Jose Bautista and Colby Rasmus.  And a bunch of minor leaguers.

Is There a Doctor in the House? ** JPA, Joey Bats, Brett Lawrie, Adam Lind and more spend time on the DL.

Vegas Baby!  Adam Lind gets shipped out to a magical land where the ball flies forever. Young players travel to our home and native land where they are surprised that the ball doesn't go so far and the opponents can exploit their weaknesses.

Vegas Baby, pt 2! Jays leave the Pitcher's Nightmare for the Promised Land of Buffalo.

A Tale of Two Brandons!*** Brandon League has a decent year for a reliever, gets $22.5 million.  Brandon Morrow could be a true Ace (and already had a contract guaranteeing $22 million).  I'll take the Morrow.

Oh Ricky, You're so Fine, You're so Fine You Blow My Mind! Whah Hahpened?  Injury?  Or just a bad year?

Oh Mar, How Could You?  Omar can't hit.  Omar doesn't play. Omar criticizes management.  

 All this, and (probably) more!  If I'm forgetting something, be the first to interact and leave a comment!


*I'm doing this from memory, so if I forget stuff, just pipe up!

**While the tone of this blog is humorous, I don't want to diminish the tragedy of a fan who passed away after suffering a heart attack at the Rogers Centre on August 16.

*** I'm copyrighting that sucker for another blog I might write.

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